The price of sedating myself

Random pic for your attention

I’m sick .In my brain

Like many other people these days I literally live on a diet of anti anxiety and anti depression pills.

My brain is sick.

It fails to produce the required neuro transmitters to be able to function properly.

Anxiety & depression these days…

Depression for me is a physical illness as well as anxiety.

My soul is fine, thank you for asking, but my brain is wired the wrong way.

This brain of mine- it needs to fixed so I can work and get out of bed and pretend to be an adult.

Anti depression and anti anxiety medicine do that. I can work, eat and talk to people, I sleep & I cooks & I clean the house & do shopping, but everything, even life-saving medicine, comes at the price.

SSRI Pills eventually make numb and de sensetized .

I don’t want to become desensetized and indifferent to suffering.

The pain of being hyper sensetive can be unbearable

Being hyper sensitive is something I consider a gift , even though it is often causing me a lot of pain.

sometimes the level of pain that I feel is just a bit too much

, it becomes ubearable pain to breath, just to exist. When I am depressed it is as if I am an electric device with a burnt cirucit.

. It is as if emotions were wate, flooding me and I am about to drown deep in my own feelings.

There is pressure in my heart and stomach .

I need to calm myself down and relax by any means necessary

Not different, from other people who suffer from panick attacks and elevated levels of anxiety and depression.

That would make up for quite a lot of people, perhaps even a significant portion of our generation facing the pandemic. We are lonley because of social distancing.

Social distancing has gotten into us facing a risk to our health, an invisible enemy.

The damage to the economy is huge.

Being anxious and depressed is a normal and natural reaction to the current situation

Whenever emotions become to much to bear

However whenever the emotions become too much,

overwhelming there is always a way to care of ourselves . Some of us may require professional help- some need talk therapy, while others might not get better without more radical forms of teatmenst, such as medication or even hospitalizations

We all deserve to feel OK even during times of uncomfort and unrest .

It makes no difference what we need to feel OK.

There are a lot of technologies and techniques to come to our aid and provide us with tools to become our very own caregiver.

In person, I don’t have any clever or better advice for you rather than to be kind.

First of all- be kind to yourself.

You don’t need to feel guilty or ashamed for feeling “mentally ill”.

Self compassion is the key for recovery & spiritual awakening

Self compassion is the key,

first step of planning how to continue the pursuit for happiness in a world that is going through a pandemic

The pursuit for joy in a hostile world

. The pursuit for happiness and joy continues even in the new reality the plague created.

It is a matter of strategy, of faith. Of resilience.

This is a journey to walk through, both personal and as a community

. We cannot make even the smallest step of this journey without feeling deserving 0f life

Feeling worthy of living is my challenge.

An old friend left this as an instruction for life.

She herself didn’t survive but her words did.

To feel worthy 0f life even when I am sick from my own broken brain that is torturing me.

Sometimes my brain needs a fix to stop it from torturing itself.


Some might say this is a weakness BUT I DON’T CARE WHAT THEY SAY.

I need the anti anxiety and depression in order to survive

To make life possible. To function. I don’t care if society thinks that I am weak or insane

I deserve life, even at a great cost.

I have the right to exist and whatever I need to preserve the life in me., I

will do what it takes

A heartfelt final word to my reader

I hope you are feeling worthy of living yourself.

If you don’t feel so yet trust me that I feel that for you.

You are human and you deserve to love and live.

Because you are human

And I am human too.

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